an example
Some of you might be thinking, “Mike, why do you say that you suck?” THIS little ditty is the epitome of why i suck.
i am an adamant reader of a website run by a man named John August. He is a screenwriter, and on his blog he is very very generous with his wealth of knowledge about both the craft of screenwriting and also the business of making movies.
Mr. August occasionally runs a small competition on his site. Generally, the idea is to write a scene with a few parameters given and post it to the comments. There are no prizes or anything, but just a chance to play and practice and learn. I have never participated in one of these, but with his most recent challenge, i decided to take a shot.
So, back to the point: why Mike sucks. Mike sucks because Mike wrote a scene for said challenge and gave it to his wife and friend to read. Then, Mike forgot that the deadline to post the scene to the comments on Mr. August’s blog was 8 this morning. So, Mike received very nice comments from his wife and his friend, but did not get the scene posted in time to enter the contest.
This is why Mike Sucks at Writing.
However, here is the scene for your reading enjoyment.
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
BRICKHOUSE--a massive super villain over 8 feet tall, almost as wide, and as slow as you would expect for his size--wraps his enormous fist around the gold Scepter of Ubiquitousness and takes it from the display, the glittering sapphire tip the only part visible from around his ruddy red flesh.
An ALARM immediately sounds throughout the museum. The slow-witted giant seems only marginally perturbed as guards begin pouring into the room.
GUARD 1
Freeze!
Brickhouse dispatches two guards accidentally as they attempt to stun him with electrified batons, causing him to involuntarily jerk his arm and knock them both across the room.
GUARD 2
Take him down!
The guards open fire on Brickhouse. There is the SOUND of ricocheting bullets and crumbling masonry as the guards pelt the giant red man, but this only angers him. He roars at them and swipes one guard away with his free hand like a ragdoll. The others flee.
BUILT
Brickhouse! Put that priceless ubiquity back where it belongs. Your days of stealing are over!
BUILT floats down into the room, his black and gold cape billowing behind him, the logo of a flexed arm emblazoned on his chest glinting in the sunlight from the entrance hole he’s just punched in the roof.
Brickhouse grins and reaches out, lumbering across the room with his hand outstretched and flexing, trying to grip the very shiny superhero. The whole building quakes with every step.
Built makes an impressive feint and wraps his arms around the tree-trunk sized wrist of Brickhouse. He yanks and tries a judo throw on the wall-sized villain.
All that manages to happen is Brickhouse finds himself turned in the opposite direction from where he was before. The enormous red man is so confused that starts to panic, yelling and flailing his arms wildly.
Built, still holding onto the giant’s wrist, has only a moment to register his disbelief at the utter failure of his attack before being hurtled across the room and through several walls into unseen areas of the museum.
A high-pitched WHISTLE is heard.
Brickhouse turns at the noise.
169, leader of the superhero team The Mensavengers stands in the rubble of the front door where Brickhouse originally entered, his number on his chest worn as a badge of honor.. He holds the Scepter of Ubiquitousness in his hand and waves it at the behemoth enticingly.
Brickhouse stands in gob-smacked awe. He lumbers around to face the hero and looks into his own dinner-table sized hand. It is empty. He roars again and begins a slow charge toward 169.
167
Over here, you capacious cretin!
Brickhouse comes to a halt and looks around.
167, second in command and wife of 169, is now holding the scepter. She taunts the extremely large man with it.
Brickhouse looks back at 169, who just shrugs, empty-handed.
The brute begins another slow lunge toward 167, taking a long moment to redirect his bulk.
152
Hey, moron!
This time, Brickhouse turns his whole body to look. 152, the young rookie of the team, is holding the scepter, but he’s too close to the monster.
With a single stride, Brickhouse overtakes the upstart and has him and the scepter clutched in his fist before 152 can escape.
152
Help! He’s contriturating me!
A moment passes as Brickhouse squeezes the young hero, his tremendous face contorted in confused rage.
And then he drops 152, scepter and all.
His attention is on a small red dot quivering high on the wall in front of him.
Brickhouse squeals with joy when the dot moves down the wall closer to him. He reaches out for it.
146, the hot-shot rebel who wears a sleeveless leather jacket over his uniform and has a gold star next to the number on his chest, is holding a small metal laser pointer.
The red dot zips away onto an adjacent wall, down onto the floor, and toward the front door. Brickhouse follows the dot out the door, giddily tottering along. 146 follows the giant outside, still directing the beam.
Built reappears from the rubble, rubbing the back of his head and stretching out his back.
BUILT
How did you guys make the scepter appear all over the place like that?
169 walks up to Built and drops the scepter at his feet.
169
It’s a Scepter...
167 walks up as 169 walks away.
167
...of Ubiquitousness.
167 walks away. 152 walks up.
152
It can be everywhere. Duh!
152 walks away also.
Built stands amidst the rubble of the museum, still rubbing his head, more confused than sore.
I just want to say a couple of words about this piece in relation to the point of this blog. I think, or at least i hope, that there is plenty here for reference to draw. Brickhouse as a character would be a great time, as would Built or any of the Mensavengers. I would love to see the Logan/Guy Gardner look of 146* immortalized in paper and ink.